A couple years ago I was living in Brooklyn and stifled by the “thick air” in the summer time. I had this great idea that I was going to start an epic campaign to help people lower their carbon footprint ratio by raising their oxygen production. The way I was going to do this was by selling little business card sized, seed-impregnated, paper planters and call them Sownow.

I researched which plants that grew the fastest with minimal care and nutrients. I studied how to press plant-food into a paper-like structure to make into a Sownow card. I wanted to save the world from people. I wanted to save people from themselves. I wanted to make cash doing it. It was a grand scheme about getting paid to spread easy to grow plants all over the nation. I might be remembered as the Johnny Appleseed of my generation.

I was on fire with the project. I made up a business plan. I tested the product in my own apartment window box. I got excited. I designed a logo, ad, and color theme. I found others who were trying something similar. I saw they hadn’t found a paying market for their product. I got bored. I bailed on the project before I sunk any real money into it. I forgot about saving the world. I moved.

I just found the graphics while cleaning out my storage drive. They still look nifty. I live in Portland, Maine now and we have the cleanest air in the country. There is no market here for anything like Sownow because there’s already trees. There’s no market in New York because there’s no open ground. It’s still a good idea. I’m just never going to follow through on this one.

I share it with you for posterity.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
There was no living creature, not even a mouse.
The dust had all settled. The chimney was bare,
And a musty dank odor hung thick in the air.

The upstairs was empty, the rooms and the beds,
While ghostly lights played on the curtains’ bare threads.
And creaking in the kitchen, a loose water tap,
Had been dripping forever since the last cold snap.

But out in the woods where the snow was now scattered,
A ruined old cabin with windows all shattered,
Lies a secret of old now buried in ash;
A memory lost from the minds of the past.

The moon and the mist and the squawk of a crow,
Rends the silence, the stillness, like a fiddle bow.
And there in the darkness, but standing right near,
Is that thing quite un-nameless, the cause of all fear.

In darkness enveloped and features black and slick,
The creature, the demon with muscles so thick,
Slinks forward like fog or like smoke from a flame
As it passes the cabin the house now its aim.

What horrible summons could call forth and mix in,
This nameless and shapeless dark abomination.
Up the path to the house, at the door, in the hall.
‘Neath a coal blackened cloak eight spider legs crawl.

No more children that lived in the house there to cry,
At the passing of evil with death in its eye.
From the hall to the dining room now scuttled through,
In shadows a whisper the nameless didst spew,

A breath of pure malice demanding the proof
Of treachery deep from the one who’s aloof.
And out of the shadows stepped a creature so fair
With a translucent figure and long flowing hair.

In her eyes was a sadness, though lightness afoot,
Was a weight in her presence an object she put,
In the hands of the beast, a brown rotted sack,
was the proof of the deed in the soot in the black.

She glided from vision to whence she was buried,
Her part in the summons no longer to tarry.
A spot in the distance for her all aglow,
And she faded from earth and the morbid tableau.

The house shook and trembled from earthquakes beneath,
And a coldness so bitter, would rattle your teeth.
The rumbling, the house was like that of a belly
Filled with nothing for days, not bread, and not jelly.

The creature now hurried, like ’twas sure of itself,
To the basement, the cellar, the hidden back shelf.
The call was now clear from the victim long dead,
A summons for vengeance the truth had been said.

The token acquired from deep basement murk,
The cabin in sight, and the tools for the work.
The fragments recovered, the calling of crows,
The morning now chases, the shadow now goes.

In life quite afar from the woods and the thistles.
The man with the secret just leans back and whistles,
But the sudden reveal and a death from the fright,
Now the summons completed and all is set right.

– Ultra high quality scans of the mysterious Gamburtsev Subglacial Mountains in Antarctica this past week revealed detailed images of the mountain range extending into the depths below 2.5miles of ice surrounded by not only valleys but lakes of unfrozen water. While the geological survey of this region had been done in the 70′s, these scans utilizing new imaging technology available to the National Science Foundation have revealed amazing details never seen before.

Credit: British Antarctic Survey

I was given the opportunity to interview one of the graduate students of Columbia University being considered for the expedition to survey the Gamburtsev region. J.W. Dyer, grandson of the now infamous William Dyer, was excited about the possibility of getting picked to go. He stated, “I hope to get the chance to go study the areas where my grandfather stepped foot over 70 years ago… the modern technology at our disposal will help clear up any misunderstanding or myths that have arisen regarding the fate of the Pabodie expedition.” When asked what he hoped to find in the region Dyer replied, “The best thing I could hope for is to help in the discovery of the geological forces that caused ice to form there in the first place.. .. that would be history in the making.”

Credit: Propnomicon

The Pabodie expedition, mentioned by Dyer in our interview, took place in 1930-31 during which nearly all members were lost. The surviving members were later diagnosed as clinically insane due to their wild stories of monsters and demons. It was later suggested that malnutrition and dehydration may have been a substantial catalyst for the paranoid delusions. William Dyer’s journal was partially recovered, but was fraught with ineligible scribblings, illustrations, and allusions to unintelligible musings throughout and indicating to later physicians the possibility of  pre-existing schizophrenia. Several contemporary novelists at that time capitalized off the sensational nature of the expedition story and over the past 70 years a mythos has developed around the occurrences.

While talking to Dyer I got the sense that he was really ready to “clear his family name” of the past misunderstanding. As such, Dyer is desperately hoping to be officially included in the expeditionary team but will not find out for a couple weeks. In the mean time he went over some of the more interesting parts of the new imagery, explained what some of it is, and discussed what the National Science Foundation is hoping to find in this mysterious mountain range.

Credit: European Ice Sheet Modelling Initiative, Scientific Committee on Antarctic Research

Under the miles of ice and far down in the valleys formed at the base of these covered mountains are several open lakes. One lake, now designated “Poor Lake”, within the Gamburtsev region was peculiar in that the scans have revealed naturally formed geometric structures such as cubes and cones of varying densities, currently thought to be of crystalline formation, near the lake but covering a several mile wide area. Though Poor Lake is under more than 2.5miles of solid ice, the area has remained unfrozen. The scan even revealed a light rippling on the water the source of which is unknown. Dyer explained that speculation has arisen as to whether this warmer region could be caused by volcanic activity in a pocket or cavern deep beneath the Antarctic crust.

Another area of interest Dyer described as containing several shapes that could prove to be organic in nature. Though little detail was given, the image referenced seemed to indicate several plant like densities in patterns described as roughly “star shaped” though no images have yet been made public. The area also had a major degradation in the mountain side near these star-shaped areas indicating a collapse having happened relatively recently in comparison to the prehistoric surrounding surfaces. This could indicate an unstable geological region which would explain a multitude of newly arising questions regarding the origin of the continent and its massive ice sheet.

Dyer says he’s so excited about the possibility of getting to go that he’s begun having dreams about the expedition nearly every night. For his sake, I hope his dreams come true as it could be the adventure of a lifetime, definitely an opportunity not to be shrugged off. Perhaps in the near future Dyer will get the opportunity to dispel the myths of his grandfather and, by proxy, outshine his elder’s things.

Credit: Live Science; Varied Source Addendum

Rob was wise to point out that I shouldn’t have eaten the thing I found in Central Park. I was told sauteed Treal was a spectacular dish when served with roasted garlic, salt potatoes, and green peppers. However, considering the current state of things, I’d have to say that was no Treal. Apparently, treal should have three full legs not just one (though to be perfectly honest, I thought that was its tail). Either way, I found a sketch online of what a real treal should look like. Maybe I’ll go treal fishing again soon. I hear they love tobacco.

I found a treal in the pond in Central park. I put it in a jar. The water’s a bit dirty, but you can still see it. Anyone know if treal can be eaten?

I think 20th Century Fox must have been shooting a movie in Harlem over the weekend. When I was walking to the UPS store I saw a black SUV drive by at full speed. It’s windows were all smashed in and the right rear tire was shooting sparks where it was rubbing the bent frame. Three helicopters were flying low overhead and seemed to be chasing the SUV. I stopped to watch, because even though it’s NYC this stuff doesn’t really happen every day. As the SUV passed by I saw two guys in costume running along the adjacent buildings like they were chasing the SUV too. The guy in front was dressed like the Predator from the movie “Predator” and the guys in the back were dressed like the aliens from “Aliens”. There was one in a weird thicker Alien costume with long arms, a bit reminiscent of the Kenner toy Gorilla. I couldn’t get my camera out of my bag fast enough to get any good shots and since I was so pumped to see the action I forgot to adjust the settings so all my pictures were blown out (I had the camera adjusted for a low light situation earlier…). The helicopter in the back was firing fake chain gun rounds at the Alien guys and I saw a couple green squibs go off indicating the “kill”. Then some guy in military uniform (go Marines!) jumped out of the second helicopter rappelling down a rope and landing on the roof with the guy in the predator costume. I couldn’t see the action, but the helicopter with the round camera thing underneath (it looked like the one on the BBC’s series “Planet Earth”) kept swooping around the roof until a giant ball of flame, like a gasoline bomb, exploded into the air in a mushroom cloud. The helicopter landed on the roof out of my site. I waited around for a bit but had to get to the UPS store before it closed. The guy at the UPS counter said he didn’t know if they were shooting a film, but that there had been a lot of big white trucks up around that area all day. If this was what I think it was, I can’t wait to see the movie. AVP3?! Sweet as!

I can’t believe what I saw! This is going to totally freak you out, but… I was wandering around town after work because I’ve been spending too much time in my room and needed to feel like I had gotten out and about without spending money I don’t have. Anyhow, I went to the little park just down the road from my apartment building. Jean, you know the one with the huge stone wall. I was walking on one of the upper paths and I smelled something horrible, like death. I couldn’t figure out where the smell was coming from, but when I rounded a bend in the path I saw it. There was a huge hole in the wall that was coated in this grayish-black stuff that looked like melted plastic. For a second I thought it was a service entrance for the subway lines beneath the street above, but it wasn’t. The smell was coming out of the hole so strong. I haven’t smelled death like that since I lived in Michigan and ran across a bloated dead deer on the road while biking. This was worse though. I had to get away, but as I was backing up and before I turned around, I swear I saw something or someone moving inside the hole. Just a quick glimpse of something shiny moving in the dark, but it freaked me out. I ran down the path away from the smell and called the police, but after 15 minutes and no one showing up, it was getting dark. I did not want to be there in the dark, so I left. Apparently, no one cares about bad smells in the park. I don’t know what it was, but curiosity isn’t going to overcome the nausea I felt there, so I’m not going back. I suggest you don’t either.

Jean was working in Queens today so I had the day to myself. I went uptown to this old subway stop to grab some pictures of the tunnel as references for a sketch I’m working on. I chose the stop on the 1 train because it still looks like the subway stops from the early 20th century. The train stop is really open and has an open bridge that crosses over the subway lines. The ceiling has telltale marks of having once had gas lamps instead of the electric bulbs now in place. While I was in there a couple trains came and went. There was a point when I was the only one on the platform and it got kind of quiet. I swear I could hear the city through the southern tunnel. From the northern end of the tunnel I heard what sounded like a mountain lion, which is impossible. I guess it could have been a rail worker yelling, but it sounded more like a roar. Who knows…